title: Bachelor Party Guidelines
author: tony
content: |

    <p>The following are <strong>prohibited</strong> at the groom's
    bachelor party:</p>

    <ul>

        <li>The bride. (Sorry!)</li>

        <li>The groom having sexual contact with beings who are not
        the bride.  The groom shall exercise his best judgment in
        determining what constitutes sexual contact.</li>

        <li>Interaction with on-duty law enforcement or emergency
        medical personnel.</li>

        <li>Sickness, injury, incapacitation, or death.</li>

        <li>Bad drink, in any quantity.</li>

        <li>Bad food, in any quantity.</li>

        <li>Smoking bad cigars.</li>

        <li>Drink in excess.</li>

        <li>Hangovers which afflict the groom or any of his attendants.</li>
    </ul>

    <p>The following are <strong>strongly discouraged</strong> at
    the groom's bachelor party:</li>

    <ul>
        <li>Lap dances for the groom.</li>

        <li>Hangovers which afflict anybody else who is attending
        the wedding.</li>

        <li>Strenuous physical activity.</li>

    </ul>

    <p>The following are <strong>strongly encouraged</strong> at
    the groom's bachelor party:</p>

    <ul>
        <li>Activities which make the groom smile and/or laugh.</li>

        <li>Good drink, in moderation.</li>

        <li>Good food, not in excess.</li>

        <li>Friendly competition.</li>
    </ul>

    <p>The following are ideas worth considering for the groom's
    bachelor party.  By no means must all of them be implemented.
    The groom understands that there are time, money, and ordering
    constraints involved, but trusts that those who wish to celebrate
    with him are creative enough to work either within or around
    those constraints.</p>
    
    <ul>
        <li><a href="http://www.sjsharks.com/schedule/index.html">San
        Jose Sharks vs. Minnesota Wild,</a> 21 October at the Shark
        Tank.  The groom won't complain (much) about cheap seats.</li>

        <li><a href="http://www.theduke.com/">The Duke of Edinburgh,</a>
        Cupertino.  (Translation: whiskey tasting.)</li>

        <li>Small-stakes poker.</li>

        <li>Miniature golf.</li>

        <li>Kart racing.</li>

        <li>One good cigar per willing person.</li>
    </ul>

    <p>The groom has run out of ideas for this post, but is open
    to other things not listed here.</p>

    <p>The bride is expected to abide by a similar set of guidelines,
    and is encouraged to post such guidelines here.
    <strong>:-)</strong></p>