title: That Blasted Holiday Music
content: |

    <p>Ever since I decided to rebel against top 40 pop music around
    the age of twelve, I've had trouble dealing with the endless
    droning of Christmas music during late November and much of
    December.  I think that the vast majority of it is insipid,
    insidious, and not a little bit saccharine.  (Go on, dictionary
    pedants: yell at me for what I just wrote.  I meant it exactly
    that way.)  Of particular note:</p>

    <p><strong>Feliz Navidad.</strong> Never have I heard this one
    covered and recorded for posterity.  Perhaps it is because it
    is what the folks at <a href="http://www.kfog.com/10@10/">Ten
    at Ten</a> call a "turkey:" a decent but stupid song.  I am
    losing my patience with this Christmas classic; it may move
    from the "turkey" list to the "Hits from Hell" list in short
    order.</p>

    <p><strong>Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree.</strong> Must I
    hear this at every commercial establishment for an entire month?
    Hip, it is not.</p>

    <p><strong>Santa Claus is Coming to Town.</strong>  Even worse
    when Motowned by a very young Michael Jackson.</p>

    <p>And I dare not mention any more than the word "chipmunk."
    Much horror lurks beyond.</p>

    <p>However, there are a very few songs that I <em>can</em>
    stand.  I assure you that I am as appalled by the non-zero
    length of this list as you are.</p>

    <p><strong>Silent Night.</strong>  Perhaps the most pleasant
    of the seasonal tunes.  That someone who does not identify as
    Christian likes this religious song speaks volumes about its
    quality.  (There are several other religious songs which are
    also tolerable.)</p>

    <p><strong>Little Drummer Boy.</strong>  Well-constructed, and
    usually well-executed.  The "modern" renditions I've heard (e.g.
    sung by the pop tart of the week) are just well-butchered.</p>

    <p>Some otherwise unpalatable Christmas classics can be made
    far less so -- perhaps even downright nonoffensive -- when
    competently rearranged into jazz.  Some even reach the dizzying
    heights of acceptable.  As I type this, I listen to such from
    <a href="http://www.kcsm.org/">my favorite radio station,</a>
    even though I am many miles from home.  (They stream in MP3 and
    <a href="http://www.xiph.org/ogg/vorbis/">OGG Vorbis.</a>  I'm
    considering increasing my regular donations to this fine public
    radio station because of it.)</p>

    <p>Though I genuinely appreciate that 
    <a href="http://www.kcet.org/">KCET</a> brings the Los Angeles
    County holiday concert from the 
    <a href="http://www.musiccenter.org/">Dorothy Chandler Pavilion</a>
    into our living rooms every year, I can only stand so many
    childrens choirs.  After a while, they all sound the same.  And
    too much off-key singing isn't cute.</p>

    <p>But leave it to public television in California to show me
    that on some level, I actually like mariachi music.  Is this
    not appalling?</p>

    <p>I don't mean to say that I dislike Christmas.  I just mean
    to say that there is much to dislike about the music associated
    with it.  I am really not a curmudgeon; I think we can do a lot
    better.  And I will play an instrument to make it better if I
    must.</p>